Okay, here goes...

So here it is. My first blog post.

I’ve been meaning to start blogging for a while now, but I’ve always been intimidated by the whole process. I mean, who really wants to hear what I have to say? However, a good friend of mine recently suggested I start doing things that make me uncomfortable, so blogging will be one of those things.

I don’t intend for this blog to have any one focus. It’s really just a way for me to write about day-to-day things going on in my life: what I’m reading, where I’m going, how I feel, etc...Lately, I’ve really been feeling the need to write more often, and I think this is a great way to do that.

Ever since I graduated in May 2007 (from Appalachian State), I’ve really missed what I thought was unmissable: writing. You know, in college writing papers on the symbolism of the furniture in “The House of Seven Gables” could be a pain. But now that I haven’t had the chance to write about literature in two years, I really miss it. I guess the grass really is always greener.

Now I work as an editorial assistant with the Post and Courier in Charleston. When I started here last January, I thought I wanted to become a copy-editor. I changed my mind a long time ago.

Over the past 13 months, I have been watching the newspaper industry go down the toilet. Just last Friday, the P&C laid off 25 people. One of those people was my roommate. Now I’m trying to hold onto the job I wanted to quit six weeks ago. Go figure, right?

Not that I have a bad job. Not in the least. I compile calendars, write obituaries, review books, and do anything else someone asks me to do. I get along with my co-workers, and I’ve gained valuable work experience and writing clips. But now I want to move on. The problem is, I don’t know where to go or how to get there.

I moved to Charleston in September of 2007. Before that, I lived in Boone, NC, for 10 years. Boone is a small, hippie, college town where anyone can do/say/wear/be whatever or whoever he or she wants. There, I was the straight-A student, the “ambitious one,” the “girl with the eyes,” a big fish in a little pond. But I was so eager to escape my past, escape the trap that so many fall into after college --staying in Boone-- that I ran off to Charleston as soon as I graduated. I didn’t research the town, didn’t find out what life was like here, just packed a moving van and drove away from Boone on August 31.

I really knew only one person in Charleston: my boyfriend, Andy, who was stationed at the Naval Nuclear Power Training Command about 30 minutes away in Goose Creek. From September to July, I was only able to see him from around 5 p.m. on Friday until 2 p.m. on Sunday. Not so great. But I made great friends with his Navy buddies and became one of the guys.

I found a job at a local coffee shop, where I was barista, bartender and sandwich-maker, and I made a couple of friends there. The work wasn’t too bad, but I couldn’t make any money --even working 60 hours a week I couldn’t make my rent a couple of times. By November, I was absolutely miserable and determined to get a better job. I knew two people --family friends-- who worked at the Post and Courier. They managed to get me an interview, and I got a job as an editorial assistant.

The year I’ve spent here isn’t really worth talking about in detail. I’ve gotten to write a couple of articles, I’ve made friends with co-workers, yada yada yada . I’m living in a great house in Mt. Pleasant with three other roommates, and we all get along really well. My boyfriend was transferred to Albany, NY, in July 2008, so that’s really not cool. And all my Navy buddies left with him, which lowered my friend count in Charleston significantly. I usually go up to see Andy and the guys once a month, but as of now we haven’t seen each other in two months.

I guess the way I feel right now is that I don’t have a bad life. I have a job, some friends, a boyfriend, a nice place to live, and so on. But I just feel like I’m existing. Not living. I feel like I’m waiting for my life to start. I’m terrified that I’ll wake up in three years and be at the same job, living in the same place, doing the same thing. The worst part is that I have absolutely no idea what I want to do. None. So I don’t know in which direction to go.

Andy surprised me on Sunday by telling me that next week when I fly to Albany to see him, we’re taking a train to NYC, where we will be staying for three days at the Hilton New York on the Avenue of the Americas. Maybe when I get there I’ll remember why I always said that NYC was where I wanted to move after college. I keep hoping that while I’m there, I’ll realize that NYC is where I need to go, and I’ll start doing anything I can to get there. I guess we’ll see.